BEACH BOYS CONCERT
It was the winter vacation of 1965, and I was on my way to Miami with friends, driving that horrible drive from NY. We stay up all day and night to get there as fast as we can, God forbid we miss 5 minutes of babe time. Making the drive as dangerous as we can by speeding and not sleeping. Those southern Po-leese don’t like us northern boys.
We got there, settled in to our seedy motel and flew to the beach. How fast can we get laid?? 60’s free love was real, and we didn’t die if we didn’t use a rubber.lol You poor guys now, gots to have a rub!
My buddy Jeff and I got to the beach, spread out our towels, put on the baby oil and iodine, like that worked. It was like basting a turkey before putting it in the oven.
In a matter of minutes a babe of zophtic proportions came sashaying by. Wow, this was my dream, but I lost the coin toss and Jeff was first. [damn] He was successful and he had a date for that night with her, but what about me?? As it turns out she had tickets to the,” impossible to get tickets for,” The Beach Boy’s Concert. And I know she liked me as she was giving me the eye behind his back. She offered to take me if I were to accompany her cousin. Well, duh, that’s a no-brainer and we made arrangements to pick them up at her house that night.
We got ready, bought our gum and threw on the cologne,[Canoe] and I couldn’t wait, she had to be beautiful, just look at her cousin.
We got to her home, and what a home it was, big and beautiful, just like Scarsdale. Jeff rang the door bell and we waited for an answer. The door swung open and there was an angel, Jeff”s date. She invited us in and said her cousin would be right down. I was filled with anticipation, I just couldn’t wait. Ten minutes went by and I figured she was just primping, and then I heard her coming down the stairs. All of a sudden there she was, my heart was in my mouth. GOD, SHE WAS UGLY. A SIGHT FROM HELL!
“This is my cousin,” she said and I replied.”what, this is impossible.” You are so beautiful and she is ghastly. I couldn’t believe I said that in front of my date, but she was so bad and I was so disappointed that I could not help myself, and I continued on and on. I insulted this girl all the way to Miami Stadium.
At this time the Beach Boys were in the top five groups in the world and to see them was worth almost anything, but now I was not so sure. If you were to watch the Match Game and Gene Rayborn asked the question,” My date was so ugly,” and the audience would say,” How ugly was she?” It couldn’t be more perfect. You know she is ugly when the usher takes you to your seats, and he say in a whisper to me,” What happened Man?” You know she is the worst.
I will never forget that night, and all of you better realize that things you want are not always worth any sacrifice. I would rather have been at the strip checking out the girls. Don’t believe that famous line from that song, Never make a pretty woman your wife. Just the opposite, pretty works for me!
The show was only fair, they sounded poor at best. Maybe it was me as I couldn’t believe that I was there in the coolest city in the world, and I was with one of the ugliest girls in the entire country.
Don’t take any wooden nickles
CHICAGOFATPHIL
